


Solider on

by Phanseyelash123



Category: Deadpool - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A/B/O, ABO, ABO dynamics, Angst, BIG OOF LOTS OF ANGST, Gross, Manipulation, Omega Wade Wilson, Other, Rape, Wade Wilson - Freeform, nickleback - Freeform, noncon, wade is vv sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-25 20:00:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18170783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phanseyelash123/pseuds/Phanseyelash123
Summary: Wade is an omega, his parents are dead, so he has to move in with his uncle, the alpha, Jim. What’s the worst that can happen?-Or: Wade is sexually/physically/emotionally abused by his uncle, Jim.





	Solider on

**Author's Note:**

> For Vanya ;)
> 
> Please don’t read if you have any triggers! (In tags!) Near suicide, reference to self harm, violence, sexual abuse/rape.
> 
> Love yall! <3

After his mother passed of cancer, and his father was murdered by his drunk friend, Wade moved to live with his uncle. Uncle Jim was his best friend. He never really understood what good parents were until he came in contact with his other family- his only family left. He was his father’s brother, which should be a turn off immediately, since his dad beat him black and blue, till he turned into whimpering punching bag, however his uncle was... To simply put it, cool. He let him do what he wanted. He bought him clothes, and food, and let him stay up until the early hours of the day watching violent movies. Well, not violent movies.... Just He-Man, which he would sing to in the shower. 

He was only 14. 

A 14 year old omega. 

Wade was not the most mature person even with his traumatic past, of witnessing first hand his mother’s death, and receiving his dad’s wrath almost each day. The only days that did not affect him were when his dad was too drunk to move; conked out while watching a shitty reality show. Or when Wade felt like he didn’t exist. Floating around the world, walking on instinct and not able to taste the blood that gurgled in his mouth. 

His whole life was a walking cliche, and honestly, in a weird way, he was glad his father finally got a knife in his gut to end it. He wanted the boring, over used cliche to end, a new leaf to turn over, and a new life. 

Jim didn’t hit him. 

The teen was beginning to get comfortable with the idea of physical intimacy. He had missed cuddles. Hailey, his late mother, was the only one who ever did so. But now Jim gave him hugs! They would sit down, watching the latest movie, and Wade would gladly sit upon his lap, nested into his side. An Omega like himself needed the comfort he so dearly missed in his childhood. 

Wade had left school, and by God was he happy. It was strangely easy. He had complained to his Uncle about how gross and annoying it was, and bam, next day, he was out of it. He was so relieved. Being an omega at school- being a boy omega at school- made him sick with bullying. It was always ‘Wade the Omega’ and ‘that omega’ or ‘the boy omega’. No one knew he was good at sports. He had been working out since he was little, since he had been planning on fighting back against his father, but when he took his friend home...

God. There had been so much blood. 

Wade blinked the flashback away and grinned when his uncle entered the room. He had been watching Shrek 2, since it was a new release and Uncle Jim always gave him what he wanted. Unluckily, he had spilt some ice cream down his shirt and therefor removed the piece of clothing, so his skinny but slightly muscled chest was on display. 

“Jimmy! Look at this bullshit!” Wade laughed, scooping some ice cream into his mouth, “I mean, it’s good bullshit, but bullshit none the less.” The teen’s voice was muffled by the melting treat. With no response, he looked up. He saw the man staring at him. 

“Jimmmm? Hello?” He asked, almost teasingly. “Ya gonna sit down with me, or continue staring at me?” He patted the sofa. 

Jim then finally broke out of his daze and sat beside him. Their thighs were touching. “So, Uncle Jimmy, whatchya thinkin’ about? What’s got you so stuck up in your head?” He tapped the side of his head. 

“Wade,” he said, slowly. The tone made Wade’s smile leave his lips and settle down the food. “I...” he whispered and the leaned back, a groan radiating out of his lips. 

Wade was growing with his concern, and he sat up, turning to look at him, innocent. “Are you okay? Should I get you some meds? Are you sick? Should I call the ambulance?” 

Jim took a moment, and before Wade even knew what was happening, Wade had been pinned down against the couch. He smiled nervously. “Are we play fighting? ‘Cause you know I can’t beat you. You’re so big.” 

He seemed to say something good because Jim’s face was hidden in his neck in an instant. He paused, tensing. This was... new. “Uh, Jim? What are you—“

His voice turned into a squeak as he felt lips brush his skin and suddenly, pressure was against his crotch. 

 

Oh. 

 

Jim was aroused. 

Wade went red and squirmed uncomfortably. The squirming made Jim breath pick up. “Uhh— J—Jim— um— we’re missing the movie.” His scent must be putting out how uncomfortable he was as the Alpha pulled back, not after inhaling his scent gland first. 

 

And it was over. Just like that. Jim sat back on the sofa, and Wade stared at him in fear. He got up, put on a hoodie, and continued to watch the movie, this time distracted by Jim’s leg touching his own. 

 

He lost his appetite for ice cream. 

 

The incident was forgotten by Wade within at least two weeks, and he was back to being springy and happy. Well, it was not necessarily forgotten, but suppressed. The last thing he needed was for another abuser. He lived in denial. 

Wade was doing his usual work out routine. Pull ups. Push ups. Jogging. Stretching. Keeping a schedule was healthy, according to an article he read once (yes, Wade reads. Well, read. It was a hobby he couldn’t be bothered to keep. Too boring), keeping a schedule was said to keep you in shape and mind sharp, and keep away any depressive thoughts. Wade didn’t want that anymore. He didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Hadn’t he already suffered a lifetime?

He was sitting on his bed, when a loud sound from downstairs made him jump, and his heart thudded against his ribs, and all of a sudden he could barely breathe. 

 

His dad was here, wasn’t he?

He was here. Oh, God. He was going to hurt him. He was going to kill him. Heavy footsteps up the stairs, Wade sobbing, and instead of an empty bottle smashing into his forehead, a gentle, warm but rough hand touched his scalp. “Wade.”

Uncle Jim. 

His dad was dead. 

Wade looked up through his blond eyelashes, suddenly swallowing any saliva left. What the...? He watched him die. Why was he fearing he could hurt him, when he was there at his funeral, even if he was then ushered away by Jim. 

The man looked concerned and gently stroked his fluffy locks. “Hey, Sunshine.” He greeted, looking sad. “What’s up?”

“The sky?” Wade replied cheekily, though his heart wasn’t in it. “Or should I say ‘sunshine’?”

Jim managed a small laugh. “Smartass. What d’ya want for dinner?”

“Ooh. Pizza?”

“Pizza it is.”

Wade smiled and hugged him, arms tight around his waist. “Thanks, Jim.”

Jim shuddered, “anytime, Sunshine.”

Something strangely familiar but distant was in his eyes when he left, giving Wade a look over which made Wade feel a little sick, his inner omega warning him to run, evacuate, because something was so deeply wrong. 

Wade shook his head. That was the last time he let being an omega effect him. 

 

Pizza was tasty, and he basically wolfed it down while he watched TV with Jim, who was not focussed on the tele but Wade. The teen noticed but didn’t say anything. He was most definitely concerned about his little break earlier, even if he didn’t show it. 

Wade’s head got slow. He rubbed his temples and settled down the slice. “Jeez. My head hurts,” he laughed. Always one to joke about the pain. 

Jim grunted. 

And then everything was fuzzy. The world blurred together into colours that mixed with the TV screen, turning so much darker than it already was. The sounds dulled till they fell into an underwater trance. 

Wade gasped and leaned back, and hands were on him, before he could process what was happening, his clothes had dropped until he was in his underwear. 

“We ain’t gonna tell no one, are we, Sunshine?”

Wade whined. 

“No one will believe you. No one. You have no friends.”

Wade shook his head, “Jim—“

“I’m your only friend. I took you in after your dad tried to kill you, yeah? Do this for me, yeah, Sunshine.”

Wade did it for him, he swore he did it for him, hand around his cock, a dick he never wanted to touch, or picture, and he only did it because he had to. He learned quickly what was a good thing to do, and bad things to do. He liked it tough, rough, tugs at the three inch mark and his balls cupped, until his dick wept with glee, until he was forcing him to mouth around his member, until Wade gagged and cried and tried to ignore the pain that spiked in his throat, until he had to guzzle down the warm liquid and was left panting and feeling dirty. No matter how hard he scrubbed, no matter how hard he rubbed the soap across his irritated skin, he still felt dirty. 

Dirty.

Dirty. 

Dirty. 

“Dirty slut.”

That seemed to be his common name by now. What had happened to his best friend, he wasn’t sure, and he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore. He was just... numb. Like nothing would matter if he just jumped. Like everything and anything could happen, and he wouldn’t blink an eye. There could be another ‘bullshit’ Shrek movie, and he would watch it, but through a third person. He didn’t really watch it. His mind didn’t process. 

 

When he lied down, when he was being fucked on the bed, which creaked with pained effort, he would think of other things. 

 

Others have it worse than me. Like animals. Animals are killed all the time. Cows are raped, impregnating against their will. If you’re a boy cow, the farming industry has no use for you, so you would just be stolen from your mother, who is forcefully pregnant again, and then slaughtered, just because the humans couldn’t be bothered to take care of you. Lambs are killed before they could even live. Many more are just tortured for our entertainment, but when they want freedom, they get killed. 

I want freedom. 

Will I get killed? Would I deserve it? No. The animals don’t deserve it. I’m just another animal, being used for another’s entertainment... being tortured... never able to escape...

I’m so selfish. 

The thoughts would rush pass almost as quickly as he could even think. He was used to the pain. Used to his bleeding behind. Used to licking his own blood from another man’s skin. It was getting tiring. So when he was seventeen, grabbing some groceries, a lady put a hand over his, frowning in motherly concern. 

“Hello, dear.” She greeted, making Wade use his well rehearsed smile, and he took away his hand. “Hi.” He watched her begin to slowly scan the items. Too slowly. 

“I couldn’t help but notice your... health going down every time I see you.”

Wade looked up, pulling his hood up more. “Yeah?”

“Look, kiddo, I’m not too sure what’s going on but by the looks of it you’re not healthy, or happy. Call the police. I can help you. I think I know what you’re—“

“You don’t.” Wade said simply, smiling still, though this was clearly forced. “Please, just let me pay and go.”

She fell silent, lips pursed. 

 

She didn’t attempt to talk to him for a while. 

 

Until much later. A month maybe, he was back, rolling a cigarette and staring off at the window beside the exit. She was on the till again. “Hello, Sunshine.”

 

Wade went rigid at the nickname and managed to not crumple the roll up. “Don’t call me that. You don’t know me. Don’t get all friendly with me. I don’t even know your name—“

“Liv. My name is Liv. Well, Olivia. But everyone calls me Liv. You can call me Liv.”

“Well, Olivia, I don’t need your shitty, fake pity, a’ight? Just fuck off and pass me some fags.” He gestures at the cigarettes which were behind her, and yet again, Liv fell silent. She did it anyway, “how old are you, sweetheart.”

“Twelve.” He rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, pulling at the seams. Liv sighed and said, “that will be twenty seven dollars.” 

Wade’s eyes went wide, “I only have twenty five. I really need the stuff.”

“I’m sorry, darling-“

“Quit callin’ me that. Just... get rid o’ the cigarettes.” He sighed out and leaned against the counter. Liv did so and sighed. 

Twenty six dollars. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you off.”

Wade gave her a smile. A slightly forced, but honest smile. 

 

Next week she greeted him, and he pretended to role his eyes. 

“Hey, Olivia.”

“Call me Liv, darling.”

“Stop callin’ me that then we’ll see.” He mumbled and loaded up the food- bread, milk, eggs, the basics. She began scanning. 

“How are you feeling today?”

“Fine.” Wade began rolling up a cigarette to keep his fingers busy. Her eyes studied his movements carefully, as if she was a mother watching her kids. 

“Hey, that’s a new one,” he reached over and her white fingers grazed his skin, and he flinched away. 

“What the fuck?” He growled, bringing the attention of other innocent shoppers. 

“You have a bruise, I—“

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me.” He snapped and began putting his bags and such into his trolley again. “I’ll get someone else to do it.” He growled. 

 

He never went to Liv again. 

 

Wade looked up from where he was sat in the living room, and grimaced as he saw his uncle. 

“Hey, Sunshine.”

“Jim.” He greeted, eyes trained on the television. He was absolutely exhausted, face gaunt, and he was beginning to wonder why, when...

“Your second heat’s approaching.”

Wade’s first heat was when he was 14, in school, and he had collapsed in front of everyone. He was a panting, squirming mess in seconds. He hadn’t had heats since, for some reason. 

He already knew from being a male omega made his biology fucked up— to have irregular heats. Maybe it was only once every few years... He needed to get it checked out. 

His eyes studied Jim. “Okay. I’ll go through it alone.” Wade said. 

“No, no. Heard it’s more pleasurable when an Alpha’s with you.”

Wade shrugged, “Yeah. Don’t want pleasure. Just wanna live.”

His uncle was in front of him in seconds, “I’m helping you, no matter what you say.”

“I don’t want your fucking help.”

He should not have said that. 

The punch hit him square in the jaw before he could see it. He whined, high and scared, and his palm cupped his jaw, cradling. 

Jim had never hit him before. 

Jim didn’t hurt him. 

Jim wasn’t his dad. 

“I didn’t remember fucking asking, Sunshine.” He spat. 

“‘Sunshine’ kinda softens the blow, don’t ya think, Jim?” Wade smiled. 

“Well, how bout this?” Jim grabbed his blond hair and pulled, and Wade’s hands fell over his, overlapping. He winced. “I don’t fucking want you talking back, okay, you fucking whore.”

Wade stared, breathing sharply, and bared his fangs. “Suck a dick.”

Jim only smiled. Wade felt a grim shudder go through him. 

 

Wade decided not to speak out again. 

He woke up the next day with a weird itchy feeling all over him. At first, he thought it may have been a odd quilt, or he fell asleep on the floor again, but he was growing hotter. And hotter. And hotter. His eyes opened to see himself on his own bed, but his skin was flared a little with a red blush. He frowned and stripped off his clothes, breathing heavy. 

Oh. His dick was hard. That was new. 

Wade panicked and pulled his pyjama trousers back up, then the blanket. If Jim saw...

As he waited for it to go down, the contact of clothes on his skin started to get blistering. It clicked. 

Wade was going into heat. 

Bile traveled up his throat at even the idea of him begging for Jim. He turned over and buried his head in the crook of his arm, and began to pant there. Shit. Shit. How did he get through it last time? Well, his parents didn’t threaten to fucking rape him, that was for sure. 

 

Wait. Jim raped him? The word didn’t sit right with him. 

Wade shook his head and grimaced when a breathy moan left him. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. No, no, no. 

Then finally, he couldn’t contain the agony that came with the clothes, and he tiredly kicked the trousers off, then his boxers. He was naked in his bed. And this time, seemingly on his own. That gave him some relief. 

He ignored the slick that coated the back of his thighs and began with his member, stroking gently, but soon enough his toes were curling and he was bucking into his hand uselessly. 

“F—fuck— fuck! Shit— ah—“ he groaned out, and his hand wasn’t round his dick. He let out a confused sound and looked down. His mouth watered. 

“Alpha.”

The alpha smiled. 

“Sunshine.”

 

Wade woke up days later, eyes heavy and body in immense pain. This was more pain than he had ever felt in his life. He hated how he moaned and curled in on himself. He was dirty. Covered in slick, cum, and some blood. He felt his behind and grimaced when he noticed dried blood. 

Fuck. 

“Jim,” he was supposed to say it angrily, but it came out as more as a whimper. 

Jim strolled back in, eyes trained on him precisely. “Hey, Sunshine.” His voice was gentle and he stroked Wade’s hair. He flinched back. 

“P—please.” Wade whimpered, “stop... stop... I didn’t... please stop, Jim. Jim, please. Y—you don’t understand....” Tears slipped down his cheeks. 

Jim didn’t pause, he just continued in brushing his hair from his sweating forehead. He kissed it. “Shh, Wade. Get some rest.”

Wade nodded and pulled the covers around his body snugly. 

“Oh, and Wade?”

Wade looked up at him. 

“Your begging was so fucking sexy.”

Wade threw up. 

 

A month later, he felt it again, but this time he was out in public. He had gone out to buy some groceries for Jim, when his vision tilted and his skin itched. 

“Oh, fuck.” He whispered. He sensed many alpha’s eyes on him. “Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck.”

His body began to ache and he leaned over the till, and the women behind it frowned, a beta, immune to the scent. 

“Hello, Sir? Are you okay?”

“Fuck— no. Don’t let me go back... shit... fuck!” He growled and his nails found the counter, digging in, and his knuckles whitened. 

A hand supported him- a teenager?

“Hey, there, dude. Let’s get you outa here.” A gentle voice coaxed, and Wade stood up straight only to fall right into his body. 

“Fuck—“ Oh. The boy was an omega. He buried his head into his neck and inhaled anyway. “Please, please, don’t let me go back. I don’t wanna go back. I don’t— I don’t—“

“Uh— I won’t. Just tell me where that is?”

“Not back home. Please. Please, just-... not there!” He cried. 

“Okay, uh... Mom’s not home... why don’t you come back with me?”

Wade looked up and he wailed. “I— I can’t—“ he took off his hoodie, slick coming down onto his thighs. He was crying. “I— Please— please— just— anywhere but here.”

“How about one of those omega homes?” He asked. 

He was aware of what he was talking about. People didn’t care for homeless people, but most did care for omegas without safe spaces, or couldn’t afford the meds (Canada supported it though!) would go. They would have a room each, and were allowed to stay for seven days. They were supplied with some food, but barley enough to get them through the days. Alphas usually ran the organisations, and they barely did research. Just thought they were doing the right thing, which was bittersweet unfortunately. 

Wade shook his head, “al—alphas will be there.” People can find out about Jim. “Ahh!” He moaned, leaning into him, inhaling roughly. An alpha at the back of the store gained interest in the spicy scent and walked over. Their eyes glazed. They weren’t on blockers. 

They pounced, a scarily animalistic expression overtaking their previously concerned look. Multiple things happened at once. 

The teenager began guiding Wade out, quickly and with stiff muscles, fear pulsating from their scent gland. 

Someone held back the alpha. The man growled and snarled, fighting against them, squirming in their grip, reaching for Wade. 

Wade smelt it. The rut. His mind glazed. 

“Shit! Alpha! Alpha... alpha... alpha...” he whimpered and twisted around, trying to connect himself with him, but the teen dragged him out. Once outside the shop, he pushed him into the alley. “No. No. Okay... Ah, shit. Okay, let’s get into my car. Come on. I’m driving you to one of those omega things.” He whispered and wrapped his arm around him again, dragging them towards the car park. 

Wade leaned against them, rubbing his groin against him. He breathed. “Shit!”

“Hey— Uh— no, no, no, god. Where are your suppressants? I’ve never seen a heat like this before.” He yelped and shoved him away, towards a cheap jeep. He pushed Wade into the back seats and done up his seat belt, while Wade panted and cried 

“Please, please, please...”

“I’m an omega.”

“Please.” Wade tugged at his shirt. “Please... Ah, god, it burns. Burns. Burns. Burns...”

 

His memory didn’t give a clear idea of what happened next. He remembered being steered into a large building, and put in a room, and he stripped himself off and gave in to his urges. 

 

Seven days later, he woke, his body aching and clothes slung all over the place. His fingers were lightly bloodied and he scrunched his nose. “Ah... shit.” 

 

Then panic. Where was he? Was he safe? What was happening? Oh, god. 

Jim. 

He was going to kill him. 

Wade had barely any recollection of time, he didn’t know how long he had spent there. He stood, groaned, rubbing his ass. Fuck. He really did a number on himself. Despite the awful exhaustion dragging his bones be managed to clamber into a cheap shower and he turned it up all the way, burning his skin, searing heat making his skin turn pink. He sat down, back against the wall, and he let out a choked sob. 

He was going to die. Maybe that was for the best. 

He was glad he was in the shower since no one could see the tears rushing down his face. 

He sat til the water went cold against his spine. 

 

“Hey... Uhh...” Wade muttered. They had given him some cheap shorts since his own were ruined, and his hair was still damp when he walked to the reception. The lady behind there was an omega. Most of the staff was. 

“Hello, there, dear. How can I help you?” Plenty of people were rushing in and out of rooms, but it mostly seemed calm. 

“I... came here while in heat. Can you tell me where I am?” Wade rubbed his arm. 

After being informed of the address, he ran a hand through his hair. 

“So, kiddo, why weren’t you at home when this hit? I’ve reached out to your uncle, by the way. He tried to pick you up but you were mid heat without suppressants, it would be way too strong.”

Jim has tried to pick him up. A pool of icy water formed in his stomach. 

“Okay... uh... thanks. I was at the grocery. Can I go now?” He asked. 

“Of course! Please, just sign here so we can say you’ve been released safely. We only let minors go home when picked up by a trusted adult.”

Oh. 

“Oh.” He voiced, faked a smile, and wrote his scrappy signature down, eyes downcast. “Okay. Uhh... can you tell my uncle I’m done, then?” 

“Oh, yes. He’s actually over there,” her finger gestured to the right, “he waited for you. You refused to leave. What a great uncle.”

Shit. Shit. Wade still smelt like omega from his shirt, and his eyes went wide. This shot a bolt of concern through the receptionist, “Hey, darling. Everything okay? We did notice many... Uh...” she pointed at his neck. 

“Yeah, Nah, I’m fine. Just thought I’d have more time to not smell like a horny bastard.”

“Oh.” She fell silent at his foul words. 

“Hey, what’s your name?” 

“Oh? Me. Aha, my name is Ariana. Call me Ari.”

“Cool. Wade W Wilson.” He shook her hand, smiling. He had missed normal interactions. The ones where he didn’t have to fear about being ripped apart with alpha’s fangs, the ones where he could talk about shitty movies and complain about it, while feeling attraction towards a hot actor. Or just... being normal. He missed school. That was a first. He missed crushing on the cute alpha two years above him. He missed homework. He missed getting up in the morning because he needed to, not startling out of nightmare about an Alpha, who would insist on comforting him. 

“Well, Mr. Wilson,” she laughed, “Please use this card if anything is wrong. Call us.” Ali gave him a card. Wade slotted it into his pocket, and backed up, only to have his frame to be interrupted by something. Someone. 

“J-Jim?”

“Nope. My name’s Toby. The omega that got you here.” His voice was very... happy. Wade turned around and his face went red, remembering how he rubbed his hard dick against his leg. 

“Oh, fuck. I’m really sorry. Sorry. Holy, shit, man. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m fine- fine. Came here to check on you, actually! My heat’s usually last a good seven days, too.” The omega- Toby, said, eyes a glassy shade of green. 

“Oh. Wait. You came here... for me?” Wade said, feeling rather small despite his lanky height. 

“Yeah. I said that, didn’t I?” He seemed much more cheerier now that Wade was out of heat. 

“Uhh... Yeah. I- uh- gotta go. Thanks, man... Actually, lemme...” he reached into his pocket and offered him five dollars. 

“Hey, what, no! I just wanted to help. I... uhh... was wondering if you wanted to get a drink? Like, some coffee, or something? I know it sounds weird cause I’ve only seen you in heat... But you’re really cute. I think we could, Uh, get on?”

Wade’s mind switched off and he grew smaller. “What?”

“Hah... sorry. Sorry. Forget about it.”

“No! No, no. I just... I was just confused. I don’t get asked out.” Ever. 

“Oh! Well, is that a yes?”

Before Wade could answer, he felt his presence behind him, and he somehow caved in on himself and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Jim.” He greeted, concentrating on his tattered sneakers. 

He looked at Toby, giving him a weak signal to hopefully not mess with his uncle. 

“Sunshine!” He shivered. “I missed you! I thought you were gonna spend your heat at our house.” 

Toby looked suspicious. 

“Oh? Who’s this? A friend?” Jim said, his hand on Wade’s lower back, and the omega froze, unable to speak, unable to breathe. 

“Uhhh— he— uhm—“

“I got him here, sir.” Toby explained simply and offered up his most neutral face, though telling by how his eyes grew a dark shade of emerald he knew something was afoot. 

“Oh? You took him here?” A long silence. “Thank you! I was so worried for my kid.” The hand slipped a little lower. Wade bit his lip. “Thank you, really. Mr...”

“Toby. And really, it’s nothing. It was fine. Omegas gotta help other omegas, yknow?”

“Yeah. Toby. Thanks.” Wade bowed his head shyly, and he licked his bottom lip. Nervous habit he got from his mother. “Well, I gotta go home, now.”

“Oh.” Toby paused, “rain check on the coffee?” He asked, which made a tiny grin rise to his lips. 

“Yeah. I’d like that,” Wade took a second, “oh, shit. Uhh... do you—“

“Oh! Right!” Toby startled himself with a holy laugh and pulled out a slip of paper. He handed it to Wade. “Please, call me!”

When Wade and Jim left, the omega was left smiling wistfully. He hadn’t felt cared for in a very long time. He sat in Jim’s car, staring out the window, eyes lively. 

“So, who was that?” Jim asked, his voice monotone. 

“Toby. He helped me. I just...”

“You know he doesn’t want you, right? Just wants your body. Saw you in heat and saw you squirming and sobbing and thought you’re easy prey.”

Wade suddenly felt defensive, his heart aching. “Hey! Leave him alone.... he hasn’t done anything to you.”

“What is with you lately? Do you want me to leave you to die, Wade? I shoulda. You owe me.” Jim said, and he pulled up at their home. Wade sighed and nodded. “Right. Sorry...” he fell silent again, head hanging low. Jim held out his hand. 

“Give me the paper.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Don’t want that faggot hanging around with you. Gimme his number.”

“N-no...” he whispered and his hand clenched around the number, his breathing hitching. 

“What did you say to me?”

“No.”

Wade took off his seatbelt and backed into the corner, fearful. 

“Give me the number now, omega, or I’ll kill you, and set it up as a tragic accident.” He smiled, finger coming down Wade’s thigh. He grimaced and batted his hand away, “no! Let me— let me be a teenager! I wanna date someone. I wanna date someone who’s.... actually.... who actually likes me.”

“Toby doesn’t like you, honey.” He became pitiful within moments, “he’s gonna use you. He’s gonna use you for his own sick fucking pleasure and as soon as you have no use he’ll toss you to the side, worthless.”

“No.”

“You know deep down he’ll do it. You know. And I just don’t want you to feel hurt, Sunshine.” His fingers went over his face and Wade closed his eyes, appreciating the feel of an alpha’s palm against him after such an intense heat. 

“No...”

“Yes.” Jim said, sad, brows furrowed, lip pouted. “Saw you squirming, and covered in slick and a moaning mess and wants your number. He thinks you’re cute? No. He thinks you’re a toy, and that’s it.” He said, sounding upset. 

“N... no.” 

“Now, Sunshine, give me the number.”

The crumpled note went into Jim’s open hand. “Thank you. Now, get inside. We have some punishing to do.”

“Oh... please..." 

"No, no. None of that. Now, Sunshine, get inside."

He wasn't lying when he said punishing. 

After his punishment, he flicked on the TV, eyes heavy from exhaustion, wrapping up his bloodied wrist, and he looked down at one of the books he had collected. Picking it up, he flicked through the pages. The Guinness World Records. He smiled at the hazardous ones, raised brows at the strangest, and even laughed when one was of a man and things with eggs. He hadn't laughed in a while. It felt good. 

Then he thought back to Toby. 

And his smile faded. 

He was never allowed friends...

He remembered having a friend, Ruben, but he ended up in a drunken fight with his father and killed him. He went to jail and then Wade was moved to live with his uncle, away from anyone else. 

“Dad! Dad! Oh, shit! Shitshitshit! Stay with me. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Dad!”

Wade suppressed the memory and closed his eyes. 

“Dad! Please!”

He knelt forward and cradled his head in his hands. 

“Dad, shit! Please! I love you!”

When he lifted his head up, wetness pooled in his hands from tears. He leaned on his bed, stared at the sexy posters of white, curved women, and cried. 

“God... I’m sorry.”

Wade felt the numbness overtake him. 

 

“Look at this photograph~” Wade sang, lowering himself into the bathtub. 

“Every time I do it makes me laugh.” He hummed, appreciating Nickleback’s new hit. 

“How did our eyes get so red?” He continued, closing his eyes, hand fumbling. 

“And what the hell is on Joey's head?” He asked, then quietly, “who the fuck is Joey...?”

“This is where I grew up...” Wade’s fingers clasped around the object he so dearly wanted. 

“I think the present owner fixed it up...” he opened his eyes and began to take out the razor from the plastic. 

“I never knew we ever went without...” he said, putting the sharp object to the side, before he began to wash his hair. He wanted to die pretty, okay?

“The second floor is hard for sneakin' out...” he smiled at the idea of ever leaving this house, of sneaking out with Toby to go get coffee, to go seek help from a professional, to kiss someone who loves him, to have fun and watch new movies while holding someone’s hand. 

“And this is where I went to school.” He wondered how everyone in school was doing. They had all left by then, and the thought of his previous friends moving on and having stable jobs with friends made him happy and so sad at the same time. 

“Most of the time I had better things to do.” God. He wished he had taken his time to appreciate others. 

“Criminal record says I broke in twice.” His voice was becoming airy once he washed the conditioner out of his blond locks. 

“I must of done it half a dozen times...”

“I wonder if it's too late...Should I go back and try to graduate?” A sob choked in his throat. 

“Lot's better now than it was back then.” 

“If I was them, I wouldn't let me in...”

“Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, God, I...” Wade sighed and opened his eyes, looking around his saturated environment, finding nothing interesting, not even the duck he had coloured in with sharpy, which was chipping off. The reds and blacks were fading off, cracking, the yellow shining through. 

“Every memory of lookin' out the back door...I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor.” He should do that. Wade. Get his pictures of his previous friends and lay them on his floor. For one last time to see lively faces of others. 

“It's hard to say it. Time to say it. Good bye, good bye.” His hands are shaking as he picked up the razor, staring at it, dull in his pale palm. 

“Every memory of walkin' out the front door...I found the photo of the friend that I was lookin' for.” He whispered, biting his trembling lip. 

“It's hard to say it. Time to say it. Good bye, good bye, good bye.”

Do it. Do it. Do it. It’s perfect. Do it. Do it. Do it. It’s perfect. 

Do it. 

“R-Remember the old arcade?” He whispered instead, staring at where the blade met skin, too scared to push down. 

“Blew every dollar that we ever made. The cops hated us hangin' out. They said somebody went and burnt it down.” He murmured, pulling his finger away for a second, watching how the scars on his thighs ripples as the water moved with his actions. 

“We use to listen to the radio... And sing along with every song we know...We said someday we'd find out how it feels...To sing to more than just a steering wheel.” Wade was trembling, so he started to tug at his hair, attempting to ground his hazy state. His throat was closing again, and he bent forward, nose touching the cool liquid. 

“Kim's the first girl I kissed... I was so nervous that I nearly missed.” He had never kissed anyone besides his uncle. 

“She's had a couple of kids since then.” How could that describe his situation so perfectly? People moved on from him but he was still singing about people who had forgotten him long, long ago. 

“I...haven't seen her since God knows when...”

“Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, God, I...” his throat was croaking now, exhaustion and numbness and sadness making his voice box throb, heart thudding, eyes closed. 

The next verse was croaked, pained. 

“Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...” he whimpered and ever so lightly pressed the blade on his thigh, hissing through his teeth in pain, a shot of blood escaping. 

“I miss that town... I... miss their faces...You can't erase...You can't replace it...I miss it now...I can't believe it...So hard to stay...Too hard to leave it.” He pulled it away again, watching the liquid ooze and blend with the clear water. 

“If I could relive those days...I know the one thing that would never change.” Wade began to softly let out tears, biting his lip, shuddering, hair messy and wet. 

“Every memory of lookin' out the back door...I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor...It's hard to say it...Time to say it...Good bye, good bye...Every memory of walkin' out the front door...I found the photo of the friend that I was lookin' for. I-It's hard to say it...Time to say it....”

“Good bye, good bye, good bye.”

Do it. 

Why can’t he do it?

“Look at this photograph...Every time I do it makes me laugh...Every time I do it makes me...”

 

He broke down, dropping the blade, sobbing, retching. He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t. But he couldn’t end it. He was too scared. 

“Wade, dinner!” Jim called, snapping him out of his sobs, and he stood, applying pressure to his cut, then left to get dry and dressed. 

 

Wade found out the hard way that when his patience was pushed too far. He wanted to relax and finally have a day where he wasn’t hurting constantly, a time where he can sleep in, time to roll his head back and listen to Nickleback, time to cry and laugh and read shitty books on eggs. 

But no. No. 

 

He couldn’t have that. 

“You’re nothing.” Jim had said. 

“Useless.”

“Just like your father.”

“Fuckin’ lil whore.”

“You’re such a slut for my dick, Sunshine.”

“Sunshine.”

“Sunshine.”

“Sunshine.”

The nickname became a taunt, to see how hard he could push against Jim without him snapping. 

It pushed him over the edge when he was listening to his music, smoking one of his well earned cigarettes, and a hand slipped right into his boxers, and Wade just... he just snapped. 

It was over quicker than he started. It blurred, and he remembered vividly turning around and shoving his fag right into Jim’s eye, making him recoil and scream. Wade pushed away and ran inside, his heart drumming, eyes wide and everything was hazy with adrenaline and God, what the fuck?!

He went inside and picked up his jacket, snatching the keys and his phone, and he looked for a few seconds in the receipts. His heart stopped. Toby’s number. He shoved that right into his pocket and ran. His steps echoed in his year. 

“Wade!” He screamed behind him, and his steps grew quicker, frantic, his heart absolutely breaking his rib cage. Run. Run. Run. Run. 

He flew out the apartment, stumbling, blood from wounds on his legs staining through his trousers. He heard heavy steps in the building, so he continued sprinting, pulling up 999. 

“Police, what’s your emergency?”

“Please! Please help! H-he’s after me-! Pl-please!” He yelled, drawing attention of people near by. 

They tried to calm him, asking for address. 

“I dunno. I dunno. I’ve been—. I just got o-out—! Please, just, just, help me!” He yelled and stumbled into an alley. 

“Wade! Come back! Come back, baby! I love you! Where are you.”

Wade bit back vomit and cried into the phone, “Oh my god, please.”

The person said more to him but everything went underwater as he saw a shadow over come the alleyway. Wade threw himself behind the dumpster. 

 

A pause. 

A breath. 

A shout. 

“Wade!? Where are you?! Come back!”

Then the shadow disappeared, and Wade heaved, throwing up all over the floor, tears running down his face. 

“—ir? We’re on our way. We have reports of a teenage boy and an older man. Is this you?”

“I’m 18.”

 

I missed my birthday. 

“Okay, sir—“

Yet again, his focus disappeared and he fiddled with the keys. 

“Get an ambulance.” He murmured, “I stabbed him with a cigarette.” Wade whispered. 

 

He then hung up without a warning, calling the number shakily that was on his bleeding thigh. 

“Hey, this is Toby! Who’s this?”

“Wade. Wade. The omega. Hey!” He said. 

“Oh. Wade.” Toby said, bitter. “Yknow, after that text you sent, I thought you wanna leave me— hey, are you okay?”

Wade was hyperventilating, leaning on the foul smelling bin. 

“I— no. No I’m not. No. I’m sorry. I didn’t message you. Jim did. I—I...” 

“Oh... I’m sorry for assuming.” Toby said, very clearly ashamed. “So, what’s wrong?”

“I just stabbed my uncle with a cigarette in the eye because he tried to rape me again.”

Toby inhaled sharply, “what the fuck?”

“Language.” Wade whispered. “I’m in an alley way waiting for the police.”

“Fuckin—.... how can I help?” 

“Don’t worry... I...” And without any signal, he passed out. 

 

It wasn’t possible. His uncle was going to jail. And Wade was getting therapy. It wasn’t possible. It was always out of reach. It wasn’t possible. It was always... too far away. Everyone asked the omega, but Wade was too far in his own world. 

It was weird. He had felt bad. Ruining his eye. 

He also didn’t. That guy ruined his fucking life and body. His mental health. His dreams. Everything was so... numb?

“Are you okay?”

“That was awful.”

“Gross... I can’t believe someone would even do that.”

“Hey, you feeling alright?”

“Wade? Wade? Hello?”

 

Wade sat up. His new foster family was frowning at him. It was strange. He was 18 and being adopted (kind of). He was an adult and he needed someone in his life? To look over him? That was just so unfair... he wanted to live out there, be an adventurer, to relax and be on his own for once. 

He offered a small smile and slipped his hands in his pocket, “I’m gonna join the army.” He said, putting barely any of the food his ‘mom’ had made in his mouth. He wasn’t hungry, he was just being polite. 

“What?” ‘Dad’ asked, eyes wide, spluttering. 

“Yeah. I see no reason to stay here. I’m at the legal age. I might move to America.”

“What about us?” ‘Brother’ asked. 

This family was perfect. A mother and father, a daughter and son. A dog and cat. The nuclear family. 

He didn’t want to intrude. 

“You’ve known me for a week, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Wade said, cutting a piece of his pancake up. Pancakes. His dad used to make pancakes for him, on his birthdays. 

He had missed his birthdays. Four years worth. 

“But...” ‘brother’ denied, and Wade just smiled. “Please. Don’t worry about it.” He patted his hand on the table and smiled. “I’ll be gone by next week.”

 

And he was. Moving down to America to become a solider. There he was not known for being a male omega, or that one abuse/rape victim, or that poor, poor boy. He was a soldier for the government, killing people, maiming people, the explosions loud, the heat burning, the feeling of dread turned to excitement. The screams. The gun, shooting. The blood. 

 

Yes. 

He decided he liked this work.

It was thrilling. 

He liked it. 

Wade smiled at the thought of taking another job, a job where he could end people who deserved it, be known for not his omega, but for the fact he could kill people within a second, know which veins and parts of the body which were lethal to cut and how to injure you with just his glare. 

Yes. 

He quite liked that.


End file.
